My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize