I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
