I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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