Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I wear drunk well.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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