bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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