He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
NoShamevember. You game?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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