I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He better not be in your backpack
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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