i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
