Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
