i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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