...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
