Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
