Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
