she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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