i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We named our party play list daddy issues
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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