HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize