It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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