I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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