I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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