Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
