Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize