Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
