I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize