Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We need to get me chipped asap
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
