I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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