By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
