question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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