i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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