So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize