Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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