This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
