Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
operation harelip BJ is a go
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We just shotgunned beers for America
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
