she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
PS: I just woke up from my shower
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
