You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
soo... how was my night?
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