hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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