And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
