Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
