I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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