I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
