She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
