No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
