About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
