We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Even my vagina gasped.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
