Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
