Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the condom got lost in my hair
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
