I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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