Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
