Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
