we have pet lesbian snakes
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize