We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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