How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
