my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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