remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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