her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My dick has a subreddit
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
ok first of all what the fuck
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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