I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
