I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
