Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
