Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
