If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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