How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
