On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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