You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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