If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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