just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
