One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it because I queefed?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
