There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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