I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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