so that wasnt chicken after all
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
