i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
