she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
