from now on my penis is your penis
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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