That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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