and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
